CHAPTER 1:
Live Like it is your Last
The sun shined sideways through the windshield of our Dodge Durango blinding me past my dark sunglasses for a moment. The chatter of my two daughters, Fionna and Lorna sounded muffled as I gazed over at my poker face husband. His black hair combed backed with shiny tints of silver bouncy off the suns peaking rays. A man I had been married to for fifteen years and never knew he had a mistress; had a child in another country somewhere.
His dark glasses shade his hazel eyes and he turns his head toward me giving a slight grin. I think I am going to smack him in the face as my body tenses and my hands clutch. He leans in and slides his thick fingers in between my fragile hands; as I go to jerk away he holds my hand firmly in position. “We are going to make it through this.” He mumbles in a humble tone, enough for my ears to grasp the words but for our unbeknownst daughters to stay ignorant of our current situation.
The Durango slows down as we enter into the restaurant parking lot and he slides the Durango into the spot as easy as he probably found himself sliding into her. I shiver from the thought and once again try to pull away from his grasp. He jerks my hand firmly once again and sets it on his thigh as he removes his sunglasses and slowly shakes his head. His hazel eyes pierce through my skin and twist my stomach into different directions. “Don’t” he sternly mouths and then shoots his eyes from the girls back to me again.
My eyes quickly shoot back to the girls and then back to him. He puts the SUV into park and shuts off the engine while he continues to hold his eyes on mine. Fionna is already helping her sister out of her car seat. My girls are like Yin and Yang but I hardly find them on opposite ends of an argument. Fionna takes her big sister role seriously and must be one of the most patient children I have ever known, most adults can’t even begin to practice the patience she has mastered. If she were a peer of mine I would perhaps be envious.
“Let’s go!” Fionna shouts as she pops open her door. Lorna follows her out of the backseat.
I give my husband one more glare of disapproval and lean toward my door handle.
“Leslie, for the girls.” He mutters towards me.
For the first time I am in agreement since I found out his dirty secret he has kept from me for almost a decade, “For the girls.” And then I manage from under my breath, “For now.”
He pauses but I am already out of the SUV chasing the girls up to the door.
'Motsy’s' is a cute local sports bar we have been going to for years. The walls are decorated with our local rival college basketball teams. TVs with the nationwide sports posted to each screen along with the World News and a couple TV shows for those patrons that are less interested in sports. The girls love the attention they receive from the staff and the greasy food and wings are delicious.
Fionna has long blonde hair and big blue eyes. She resembles me much as a child. She is a dainty little girl that prefers to wear very plain clothes. She wears jeans, plain sneakers, a plain pale blue t-shirt with her long blonde, straight hair dangling over her shoulders. She is eight now. The oldest eight years old I had ever met. I think if she were able to go out and get a job now she would. Set up house, pay bills and become a teacher maybe? Sometime I think she appears more adult than I do with her subtle motherly instincts she shows toward Lorna. I adore Fionna and wear her like a gold star pin around my friends. The girls are able to sit back and have a couple glasses of wine and leave an eight year old in charge of four kids in the other room without bickering and fighting being heard. I know I have won the child lottery with her and often wonder if it is possible that God has given me an angel from heaven.
“Hello Sommer family!” Margret greets with an ear to ear smile on her round face.
“Hello Margret!” Fionna grins
“Hi Margret!” Lorna screams as she goes in for a hug.
Margret is our regular waitress at 'Motsy’s' and has been for the last three years. I adore Margret. She is a perky twenty-one year old working her way through college. She is going to college to become a nurse.
“Hi, Margret, how are you tonight?” I smile as if my world hadn’t just been turned upside down.
“Margret. Good seeing you,” my husband smiles assuring.
Margret leads us across the well-lit sports bar to a side booth we sit in regularly when we come. She is chatting away to the girls and I feel “him” put his hand on the small of back as if he is leading me through the room. I want to shake him off of me. He throws gasoline on an already lit fire every time he touches me. His mere presence currently has every spike protruding from my fort, ready for an invasion; Warriors working on the inside building the walls up higher and higher to keep him away from my treasured heart.
We climb into the booth in our regular seats. Margret is quite familiar with our drink and food orders and assures us she will be back with the drinks in a few.
Fionna immediately pulls out the crayons and begins coloring with Lorna.
My husband, the man I married, his name is Derrick. A business man. He comes from a wealthy family. Yes, Derrick. The love of my life. The one who I have entrusted with my heart, soul, finances and children….
“Leslie” he bumps my arm
“Huh?” lost in my thoughts, I am startled. I focus my eyes back to the little sports bar. Fionna and Lorna’s wide eyes stare up at me; Margret's pen twirling around her lips is gazing at me.
“Do you want the same thing as always?” Derrick stares at me as though he is concern of my well-being.
“Hmmmm…” I say. “I was thinking…. And I’m thinking to change it up a bit. I’m do for a change.”
Margret gazes at me almost surprised “Sure! What can I get for you?”
“The spicy chipotle chicken with the veggies.” I smirk.
Right on cue Derrick’s eyes fling over to me, “But you don’t like spicy…”
“I do tonight." I abruptly interrupt, "I think there are a lot of new things I’m going to be trying that I usually don’t.” I say dryly.
Derrick glares at me for a moment. I feel the tension in the air and the awkwardness hovering about as Margret’s eyes shift back and forth from Derrick and me. The girls have already opted out of the conversation and are back to their tick tack toe game.
Derrick slowly tilts his mouth into a smile and runs his hand down my leg, gently squeezing my knee. “Spicy Chipotle it is.” He confirms as if I needed his permission.
Derrick leans over and kisses my neck. I almost shutter, but notice Fionna look up and smile with approval, so I grit my teeth and suck it up. I hope he is enjoying his show because he is not sleeping in the same bed with me tonight.
I watch the girls with a small grin on my face as Derrick turns his attention to the sports. Lorna squeals in excitement as she beats her sister in a game. Fionna laughs and offers another game. I am not sure if she has lost willing or gave one to her sister. It is more likely she gave one to Lorna. Lorna is six. She wants to always wear bright flashy colors with either a skirt or dress. The eighty’s coming back in style has bit me in the ass with this little girl. A six year old should not care about fashion this much. She is trendier than I ever was or ever will be. Lorna loves pink. Bright pink. Hot pink. If it is pink she wants it. Stuffed animals, clothes, bedding and most anything else that has ever come in the color pink. She is cute and quirky with a heart bigger than this world. Everyone is drawn to her immediately and adores her.
“Mom? Dad? “Fionna ask.
“Yes?” I offer. Derrick turns his head in her direction.
“Look.” She points at one of the TVs hanging on the wall. “Do you think we will really be able to travel to other planets?”
I turn my attention to the World News and listen as they converse about the opening found in the Bermuda Triangle. The man and woman argue back and forth if Realm Travel should be allowed. Apparently what they call a “gateway” has been discovered and they are debating opening this “gateway” up to travel to other planets. I am sure the government has already been using this portal for who knows how long, and we, society, are being allowed to now find out about it. The whole concept is surreal.
I shift my eyes toward Derrick. “Well…” I begin.
Derrick chimes, “Fionna, Girls, if this is a possibility it won’t affect us for years; Maybe one day. I guess anything is possible. You tell me, Fionna, what do you think?”
Fionna bites her lip as she chews on the thought. “Well, we went to the moon. They sent a shuttle to Mars. Maybe?”
Lorna can’t resist the temptation to add her two cents, “I hope the aliens are nice. Maybe aliens are pink?”
Margret begins making her way to our table with a tray of food.
Suddenly a loud POP rings through the air startling everyone around. Margret halts for a moment and then as if it is slow motion the tray she holds tumbles to the floor and falls backwards. People begin diving under tables and running toward the kitchen.
“POP! POP!”
I am frozen and can not move. What is happening? I feel Derrick’s arm slam over my head and push me under the table as his other hand pulls the girls legs under us.
Screams. Chaos.
“There’s a shooter” he whispers heavily.
It feels like a thousand echoes whispering through my ear. Lorna’s quiet sobs echo in my brain and Fionna’s tight grasp on my arm may hurt, if the adrenaline was pumping through me. Then there are more “POP POP POP” noises.
They ring above the screams, crashes and furniture tumbling over. I feel Derrick’s body falls limp over mine. “Oh my God! Was he shot?” my voice exclaims loud in my head. “He was shot? He was shot! Is he alive?” my voice continued to shout loud in my head muffling out the other terrifying cries that begin to rise around me. My brain is dizzy in circles as it tries to comprehend the situation.
“Mom,” Fionna whispered. She feels her father’s limp body too. She knows...
I want to tell her it is okay. I want to let her know we are going to get through this... but the lump in my throat is a boulder blocking my voice. I am in shock and I am not sure how but I manage to pull the girls in closer under myself and their father’s limp body, trying to shield them.
More…POP…POP…
A bold thrust stings my side, the pain is deep but numbing; I want to scream out but my voice falls into my feet.
Was I shot?
It doesn't hurt, but the I begin to feel nauseated; I am sure if the adrenaline wasn't pumping in my veins, like a rocket to the moon, it would hurt.
“Mom” I barely hear Fionna whisper under her breath.
I tuck my head down toward her. Lorna curls in a ball trying to stay quiet as she sobs. Fear that I have never met dance in Fionna’s blue eyes as the blue waves began to storm. “I’m okay” I manage to find in my voice “I love you. I love you girls.”
I feel warmth and wetness against my blouse. It feels as if warm water were dumped inside my shirt and it were seeping to the surface. Little black spots begin to form wherever I try to focus. I think I feel Fionna's small hand press against my side. Her blue eyes hazy under my blurred vision... Harder to breathe. Harder to…
Darkness.
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Margret’s breath is heavy as she manages to crawl out the backdoor and into the alley. She slides behind a large green dumpster, stacking a couple boxes in front of her. Her knees are wet with the blood that soaked in her jeans as she slid across the bloody restaurant floor.
Margret presses her small hand against her side, examining the blood. She takes off her small apron and firmly presses it against the bullet wound as she pulls her cell phone out of her back pocket. Her finger taps a prompt and holds the phone to her ear as she waits for someone to answer, wincing from the wound in her side.
“Hello” she pauses for a moment, then speaks again, “He found me. He found me and so many people are dead.” She says flatly, disconnected from reality. Pausing for a moment with a defeated sigh she adds, “Meet me at our place in the woods.”
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